You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
