Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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