Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize