Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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