Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
