My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
