Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
