mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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