This girl is more easily done than said...
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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