**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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