i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
