bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
