I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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