Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
