Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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