No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
