Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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