You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I accidentally burped into my bong.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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