FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
this is an emotional support booty call
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
