I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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