I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
can u get pink eye on your cock?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
