Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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