How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
