Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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