Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
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