I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
