4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
its liver damage thursday
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