And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize