I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize