got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
