who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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