I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Farmville is her only friend.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
