so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
