you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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