Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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