Do you still have your period?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
