you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I faked an abortion last night.
only you would photoshop your dick
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize