Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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