worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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