I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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