guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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