yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
We got so high we made milksteak
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
