so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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