Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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