i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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