This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
