Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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