omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize