..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
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