MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize