Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Sorry about my life...
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
