Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
whose parrot is this?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I just forgot I was standing up.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Randomize
