singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
then he tried to convert me to islam
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
