The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Randomize
