Yo dont text me then not text me
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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