She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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