that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
