You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
