i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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