I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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