That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
