who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
