I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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